What:

There's a fine line when it comes to raising a daughter. We want our little girls to be kind, but we also want them to know that they can throat-punch someone if they need to.

Wear:

• 52% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft, cozy, with drawstring hood
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit, with ribbed cuffs and kangaroo pocket
• Blair is 5'11", wearing a size L, and is named after her dad's college dorm. (Which must have been an especially fun place.)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Some days I show my strength by lugging the kids AND the groceries up the steps. Some days I show it by kicking ass at the gym, before kicking ass at work. And some days (aka most days), I show it by just getting out of bed and dealing with all the things, all the time.

Wear:

• 52% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft, cozy, with drawstring hood
• Modern, loose fit, with ribbed cuffs and kangaroo pocket
• Tiffiny is 5’1”, wearing a size S, and has a son named Eleven (who was born months before Stranger Things even came out.)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

There's a fine line when it comes to raising a daughter. We want our little girls to be kind, but we also want them to know that they can throat-punch someone if they need to.

Wear:

• 52% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Jillian is 5’5”, wearing a size M, and professes her undying love for tacos and scotch — separate or together.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Some days I show my strength by lugging the kids AND the groceries up the steps. Some days I show it by kicking ass at the gym, before kicking ass at work. And some days (aka most days), I show it by just getting out of bed and dealing with all the things, all the time.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed, ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Christine is 5’6”, wearing a size M, and has a twin sister. (In fact, she has SIX sets of twins in her family!)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Faster than a speeding toddler. Able to leap tall Lego buildings in a single bound. More powerful than a just-bathed blowout. Look, collapsed on the couch and still changing a diaper with one hand! It's — supermom!

Wear:

• 52% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Tiffiny is 5’1”, wearing a size S, and has a son named Eleven (who was born months before Stranger Things even came out.)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

I swear I was. People liked hanging out with me, and some even wanted to date me. I stayed up late, I laughed, I partied. At least I think I did. Wait...was it all a dream? No. I'm sure of it. I was hip, er, I mean, cool...um, lit, savage? Ugh. Whatever.

Wear:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, lightweight
• High/low hem and side slits
• Nicole is 5’4”, wearing a size M, and is a Brooklynite (by way of Alaska!) who writes, directs, and acts in sketch comedy shows.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Think of the toughest, meanest, baddest person you know. Now think of the one person they're afraid of. Yup...it's their mom. We're all badasses. Don't mess with us.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed, ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Jillian is 5’5”, wearing a size S, and professes her undying love for tacos and scotch — separate or together.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

There's a fine line when it comes to raising a daughter. We want our little girls to be kind, but we also want them to know that they can throat-punch someone if they need to.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Julianne is 5’9”, wearing a size M, and is a comedian at the Upright Citizens Brigade, who loves The Princess Bride.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Some days I show my strength by lugging the kids AND the groceries up the steps. Some days I show it by kicking ass at the gym, before kicking ass at work. And some days (aka most days), I show it by just getting out of bed and dealing with all the things, all the time.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed, ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Meredith is 5’5”, wearing a size M, and went into labor during the Jonas Blizzard of ‘16...while her husband was fishing in Florida!

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

The design:

You know, sometimes I get really sick of being referred to as "eye candy." But I get over it pretty quickly.

The details:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, comfy fit
• Runs slightly small, size up for a more relaxed fit
• Adam is 5'9", 170 lbs, and wearing a size M. He may or may not be the only vegetarian in the world who hates avocados.

S : 28" (length from shoulder) 19" (chest) 
M: 29" (length from shoulder) 20.5" (chest) 
L: 30" (length from shoulder) 22" (chest) 
XL: 31" (length from shoulder) 24" (chest) 
2XL: 32" (length from shoulder) 26" (chest) 

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

What:

From maternity to post-baby, and in all shapes and sizes — every mom has a bod, and every one of 'em should be celebrated.

Wear:

• Super-soft 100% combed cotton with crew neck
• Stylish, modern fit
• Sleeveless tank, raw armhole edges, neck ribbing, double needle hems, side seamed, preshrunk to minimize shrinkage
• Emma is 5’7”, wearing a size S, and won the first — and only — poker tournament she ever entered.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

It's not just a word we hear 7,873,671 times a day. It's a badge of honor. Wear it proudly.

Wear:

• 52% airlume-combed ring-spun cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft, crewneck, with front patch detail
• Modern, loose fit
• Blair is 5'11", wearing a size M, and is named after her dad's college dorm. (Which must have been an especially fun place.)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Please note the text on the text on the actual t-shirt is red

What:

Oh, is that how you say "super strong, independent badass who runs the world" in a bunch of different languages? Good to know.

Wear:

• 52% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Jillian is 5’5”, wearing a size M, and professes her undying love for tacos and scotch — separate or together.

Why:

• FREE SHIPPING at $40
• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Some days I show my strength by lugging the kids AND the groceries up the steps. Some days I show it by kicking ass at the gym, before kicking ass at work. And some days (aka most days), I show it by just getting out of bed and dealing with all the things, all the time.

Wear:

• 100% cotton
• One size fits most

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Think of the toughest, meanest, baddest person you know. Now think of the one person they're afraid of. Yup...it's their mom. We're all badasses. Don't mess with us.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed, ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Jillian is 5’5”, wearing a size S, and professes her undying love for tacos and scotch — separate or together.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

I swear I was. People liked hanging out with me, and some even wanted to date me. I stayed up late, I laughed, I partied. At least I think I did. Wait...was it all a dream? No. I'm sure of it. I was hip, er, I mean, cool...um, lit, savage, on fleek? Ugh. Whatever.

Wear:

• Super-soft 100% combed cotton with crew neck
• Stylish, modern fit
• Neck ribbing, side seamed, shoulder to shoulder tape, double needle hems, preshrunk to minimize shrinkage
• Blair is 5'11'', wearing a size M, and is semi-obsessed with Pez dispensers. (She has 397 of ‘em!)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

The truth? You can’t handle the truth. Either that, or I don’t feel like explaining it to you. And, besides, I’m the mom - that’s the only reason you need, buddy.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed, ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Julianne is 5’9”, wearing a size M, and is a comedian at the Upright Citizens Brigade, who loves The Princess Bride.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Oh, is that how you say "super strong, independent badass who runs the world" in a bunch of different languages? Good to know.

Wear:

• 52% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft, cozy crewneck
• Modern, loose fit with dropped shoulder, ribbed cuffs & waistband
• Blair is 5'11", wearing a size L, and is named after her dad's college dorm. (Which must have been an especially fun place.)

Why:

• FREE SHIPPING at $40
• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

The Perfect Tee: Custom cut, colored, and butter-washed exclusively for Scary Mommy, for a perfect fit and an unrivaled ultra-soft feel.

What:

"Just a girl." "Just a mom." "Just a wife." Just watch me smash all your perceptions. (And maybe your face if you say that again.)  

Wear:

• 100% combed ringspun superfine lightweight cotton
• Relaxed fit with an open neckline and narrow neck banding for a contemporary look
• Emma is 5’7”, wearing a size S, and won the first — and only — poker tournament she ever entered

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

To be fair, that's about 3 hours later than usual, so yay, I guess?

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck, with front embroidered detail
• Modern, loose fit
• Blair is 5'11", wearing a size M, and is named after her dad's college dorm. (Which must have been an especially fun place.)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Some days I show my strength by lugging the kids AND the groceries up the steps. Some days I show it by kicking ass at the gym, before kicking ass at work. And some days (aka most days), I show it by just getting out of bed and dealing with all the things, all the time.

Wear:

• 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Ultra-soft tri-blend crewneck, with just the right amount of stretch
• Fitted (size up one for a more relaxed fit)
• Blair is 5'11", wearing a size L, and is named after her dad's college dorm. (Which must have been an especially fun place.)

S: 25.5" (length from shoulder) 16" (chest)
M: 26" (length from shoulder) 17" (chest)
L: 26.5" (length from shoulder) 18" (chest)
XL: 27" (length from shoulder) 19.5" (chest)
2X: 27.5" (length from shoulder) 21" (chest) 

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Some days I show my strength by lugging the kids AND the groceries up the steps. Some days I show it by kicking ass at the gym, before kicking ass at work. And some days (aka most days), I show it by just getting out of bed and dealing with all the things, all the time.

Wear:

• Super soft 50% poly, 37.5% cotton, 12.5% rayon
• Feminine, cozy, versatile, and plush in a classic pullover fit with a wide neck 
• Relaxed fit, can be worn off the shoulder
• Sideseamed with long sleeves, 1x1 rib neckline, and wide ribbed cuffs and waistband
• Cassie is 5’4”, wearing a size M, and is 17 weeks pregnant with her first child! (Woo hoo!)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

The Perfect Tee: Custom cut, colored, and butter-washed exclusively for Scary Mommy, for a perfect fit and an unrivaled ultra-soft feel.

What:

Being the hashtag BestMomEver is hashtag LifeGoals! Aaaaand then reality hits, and the bar lowers a little erryday. It's fine. Just remember, there's always someone out there screwing it up even worse than you are.

Wear:

• 100% combed ringspun superfine lightweight cotton, with curved hem
• Relaxed fit for comfort, with tacked, rolled-up sleeves for a feminine flair
• Melanie is 5’4”, wearing a size S, and has never met a dog she didn’t love.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

It's funny, because it's true. (And by "funny," I mean "not the least bit funny.")

Wear:

• 52% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft crewneck, with front embroidered detail
• Modern, loose fit
• Christine is 5’6”, wearing a size M, and has a twin sister. (In fact, she has SIX sets of twins in her family!)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

In case you couldn't tell by my tone of voice or the fire in my eyes. PS - this ain't just for the kids. It goes for my boss, my SO, the patriarchy, the universe, and anyone else who stands in between me and what I know I deserve. (But definitely the kids, too!)

Wear:

• Super-soft 100% combed cotton with crew neck
• Stylish, modern fit
• Neck ribbing, side seamed, shoulder to shoulder tape, double needle hems, preshrunk to minimize shrinkage
• Cassie is 5’4”, wearing a size M, and is 17 weeks pregnant with her first child! (Woo hoo!)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

The Perfect Tee: Custom cut, colored, and butter-washed exclusively for Scary Mommy, for a perfect fit and an unrivaled ultra-soft feel.

What:

Some days I show my strength by lugging the kids AND the groceries up the steps. Some days I show it by kicking ass at the gym, before kicking ass at work. And some days (aka most days), I show it by just getting out of bed and dealing with all the things, all the time.

Wear:

• 100% combed ringspun superfine lightweight cotton, with curved hem
• Relaxed fit for comfort, with tacked, rolled-up sleeves for a feminine flair
• Yuko is 5’5”, wearing a size S, and can ride a unicycle (!), which we think is wheely cool.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Some days I show my strength by lugging the kids AND the groceries up the steps. Some days I show it by kicking ass at the gym, before kicking ass at work. And some days (aka most days), I show it by just getting out of bed and dealing with all the things, all the time.

Wear:

• Super-soft 100% combed cotton with crew neck

• Stylish, modern fit

• Sleeveless tank, raw armhole edges, neck ribbing, double needle hems, side seamed, preshrunk to minimize shrinkage

• Blair is 5'11'', wearing a size M, and is semi-obsessed with Pez dispensers. (She has 397 of ‘em!)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

The Perfect Tee: Custom cut, colored, and butter-washed exclusively for Scary Mommy, for a perfect fit and an unrivaled ultra-soft feel.

What:

I couldn't find my keys, their shoes, or any fucks left to give. If you can't relate, we probably can't be friends. #sorrynotsorry.

Wear:

• 100% combed ringspun superfine lightweight cotton, with curved hem
• Relaxed fit for comfort, with tacked, rolled-up sleeves for a feminine flair
• Emelie is 5’7”, wearing a size M, and could only eat Italian food while binging The Sopranos. (For 2 months!)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

There's a fine line when it comes to raising a daughter. We want our little girls to be kind, but we also want them to know that they can throat-punch someone if they need to.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Julianne is 5’9”, wearing a size M, and is a comedian at the Upright Citizens Brigade, who loves The Princess Bride.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Think of the toughest, meanest, baddest person you know. Now think of the one person they're afraid of. Yup...it's their mom. We're all badasses. Don't mess with us.

Wear:

• 50% cotton, 50% poly
• Super soft, cropped, with crewneck
• Relaxed fit
• Nicole is 5’4”, wearing a size S, and is a Brooklynite (by way of Alaska!) who writes, directs, and acts in sketch comedy shows.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real