What:

Think of this warm, flickering flame as a soothing, beautifully-scented way of me saying "LEAVE ME ALONE!" I need a break. If the light is on, I'm off. Get it?

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
6. Cinnamon and Settle-Down Now(Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

What:

This boxed set contains the key to the most accessible virtual reality experience of all time.

Slip on any of these 3 buttery-soft satin eye masks to transport to a peaceful world free of harsh lighting, unencumbered by the day’s chaos. Take a deep breath, exhale your worries and breath in calm as you savor the soothing view of the back of your eyelids. Start practicing for the big vacation you deserve with a mini vacation from incessant visual stimulation.

Each mask is printed with a message to deter interruption so you can snooze it before you lose it.

Wear:

• Three satin eye mask packaged in a gift box
• Machine wash, tumble dry
• Imported

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

I thought I had a few left to give. I could have sworn I saw them the other day, when my kids were climbing on me during a Zoom call. Or maybe they were somewhere in that pile of toys in the corner. (Or is that laundry? Who can tell anymore?) But nope, it turns out there was only one, single, solitary f*ck that I had left to give. And now it's on fire, so I'm all out. Gotta say, though — it smells lovely.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Sage Against The Machine (Sage, Amber, Oak Moss)
6. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

This item is not guaranteed to arrive by Father's Day (6/20). Please note that purchasing this item will affect your whole order and it will not be guaranteed for delivery by Father's Day (6/20).

What:

Serve up some 2005-velour-vibe nostalgia in this buttery-soft sweatsuit, updated with a comfy high waist and sensible pocket space. Cozy enough for the couch, cute enough for all the other shit you have to do first.

“I’ll Try Again Tomorrow” is an homage to the badassery of moms! No matter how hard today gets, moms are going to try again tomorrow. This is a wearable reminder of how incredible that is, even (especially!) on the days you shift into survival-mode before lunchtime. 

So go ahead, give the kids an ipad, order takeout and throw those “real pants” from 2019 in the trash. You can try again tomorrow, in your new velour pants.

Wear:

• 90% Polyester 10% Crushed Velvet
• Standard unisex fit
• Adjustable waist with drawstring
• Side pockets
• Available in sizes XS - 3XL
• Machine Wash Cold
• Tumble Dry Low
• Matching hoodie available!

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real