Clean Laundry scent orders will begin to ship 12/11. Please also keep in mind that your ENTIRE order will ship at once — only after the pre-order items are ready to go.

What:

Think of this warm, flickering flame as a soothing, beautifully-scented way of me saying "LEAVE ME ALONE!" I need a break. If the light is on, I'm off. Get it?

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Pumpkin Spice Up Your Lives (Spiced pumpkin with notes of Vanilla, Cinnamon, & Baked Crust)
5. A Forced Family Outing to An Apple Orchard (Brandied Apples with notes of Apple, Clove, and Brandy)
6. My Second Favorite F Word (Spiced Blood Orange with notes of Cassis, Brazilian Orange, and Cedar)
7. Autumn Leaves and Sanity Please (Woodland Escape notes Lemon, Cedarwood, Fir Balsam, and Vanilla)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

Clean Laundry scent orders will begin to ship 12/11. Please also keep in mind that your ENTIRE order will ship at once — only after the pre-order items are ready to go.

What:

I thought I had a few left to give. I could have sworn I saw them the other day, when my kids were climbing on me during a Zoom call. Or maybe they were somewhere in that pile of toys in the corner. (Or is that laundry? Who can tell anymore?) But nope, it turns out there was only one, single, solitary f*ck that I had left to give. And now it's on fire, so I'm all out. Gotta say, though — it smells lovely.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry  (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Pumpkin Spice Up Your Lives (Spiced pumpkin with notes of Vanilla, Cinnamon, & Baked Crust)
5. A Forced Family Outing to An Apple Orchard (Brandied Apples with notes of Apple, Clove, and Brandy)
6. My Second Favorite F Word (Spiced Blood Orange with notes of Cassis, Brazilian Orange, and Cedar)
7. Autumn Leaves and Sanity Please (Woodland Escape notes Lemon, Cedarwood, Fir Balsam, and Vanilla)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

 What:

Think of the toughest, meanest, baddest person you know. Now think of the one person they're afraid of. Yup...it's their mom. We're all badasses. Don't mess with us.

Wear:

• 12 oz stoneware
• Glossy white with red rim and speckles
• Hand wash recommended

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Take a deeeeep breath. It's all gonna be ok. Probably.

Wear:

• Handpoured soy candle
• Lavender scent

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Think of the toughest, meanest, baddest person you know. Now think of the one person they're afraid of. Yup...it's their mom. We're all badasses. Don't mess with us.

Wear:

• 12 oz stoneware
• Glossy color outside / glossy white inside
• Hand wash recommended
• Black rim and speckles

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Need a journal? A place to keep lists full of things you probably (definitely) won't have time to do? Something to doodle in during meetings to pretend you're taking notes? You've come to the write place.

Wear:

• 70 white lined sheets and thick black chipboard back cover
• 7" x 9"

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

I'm not really a mama bear. I'm more of a mama llama. Like, I'm pretty chill, but I'll kick you in the face if you screw with my kids.

Wear:

• 11" x 17"
• Rolland 100# uncoated paper
• Frame not included

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Yeah, you know me. Naptime is the BEST. Eyes closed, all swaddled up, half-drunk bottle leaking on the pillow. And sometimes my kids even take naps, too!

Wear:

• 11" x 17"
• Rolland 100# uncoated paper
• Frame not included

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

All day. Every day.

Wear:

• Matte poly cover with poly fill

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Moms love having a stash of cards to whip out at a moment’s notice, because running back to the store (she already went twice this week) means derailing a whole afternoon. This pack has all the cards she needs for the people who want to hear from the real her: hilarious thank you cards for everyone, mom-friends, and teachers No more cheesy cards from the grocery store, just real sentiments, real funny. Just under $25, this set of 12 funny thank you cards will make a perfect touch to any Mother’s (or any!) Day Gift.

Wear:

• Pack of 12 greeting cards with envelopes
• 4.25" x 5.5"
• Greeting Card occasions: 4 Thank You, 2, Teacher appreciation, 5 friendship , & 1 encouragement

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

The design:

A logo? Nah. It's a badge of honor. Being a dad never looked so good.

The details:

• 16 oz
• Dishwasher safe

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

What:

Look, it's not for everyone. Let's get that out of the way up front. But if you do choose a path full of pinching, pulling, pumping, sucking, biting, cracking, and leaking, you deserve a medal. Or at least a badge.

Wear:

• 4" x 6"
• 14 pt. cardstock
• Blank inside
• Includes envelope

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

 Clean Cargo Shorts scent orders will begin to ship 12/11. Please also keep in mind that your ENTIRE order will ship at once — only after the pre-order items are ready to go.

via GIPHY

Lighting a match is fine and all, but why not grace the next one in with something a little better? Light up one of these dad-scented candles for a result that's more classy than just covering up:

The details:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Dad Scents

1. Dad’s Early Morning Mow (Smells like the best lawn on the block)
2. Fire Up The Grill (Smells like a neighborhood cookout)
3. Dad Shoe (Smells like fresh kicks straight out of the box)
4. Saturday Morning Pancakes (Smells syrupy and unburnt)
5. Clean Cargo Shorts (Smells like fresh laundry)

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

It's the scent that has neighbors poking their heads over the fence to see what's on the grill — that inimitable, primordial combination of fire and meat that's been in a dad's DNA since the first caveman hosted a wooly mammoth BBQ. Being able to bring that mouth-watering aroma indoors is rare...but in this case, it's truly well done. A candle that recreates dad's favorite smells just makes scents.

The details:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

They're the staple of every dad's uniform — the clean white sneakers that are so uncool they couldn't possibly be cooler. Sure, they wind up getting a little greener with every mow, and have had some meat and beer splatter on them from time to time. But there's a moment — the moment — when they first come out of the box, when all is perfect with the world, and you know you've found your sole mate. And that's exactly what you'll smell every time you light this baby up. A candle that recreates dad's favorite smells just makes scents.

The details:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

Every true dad takes pride in the look of his lawn — rich green, tight height, and sharp edges. But there's more to the mow than meets the eye. In fact, it meets the nose. The scent that comes with creating the best lawn on the block is both motivating and meditative at the same time. And now every dad can light up a wick that captures the wonder of the fresh-cut waft. A candle that recreates dad's favorite smells just makes scents.

The details:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

Clean Laundry scent orders will begin to ship 12/11. Please also keep in mind that your ENTIRE order will ship at once — only after the pre-order items are ready to go.

What:

Oh, look, it’s on fire- Commemorate the worst year ever by lighting it on fire! Watch it slowly burn down as we limp toward the finish line. 2020 may be a dumpster fire but your house doesn’t have to smell like one.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Pumpkin Spice Up Your Lives (Spiced pumpkin with notes of Vanilla, Cinnamon, & Baked Crust)
5. A Forced Family Outing to An Apple Orchard (Brandied Apples with notes of Apple, Clove, and Brandy)
6. My Second Favorite F Word (Spiced Blood Orange with notes of Cassis, Brazilian Orange, and Cedar)
7. Autumn Leaves and Sanity Please (Woodland Escape notes Lemon, Cedarwood, Fir Balsam, and Vanilla)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Clean Laundry scent orders will begin to ship 12/11. Please also keep in mind that your ENTIRE order will ship at once — only after the pre-order items are ready to go.

What:

Some days you’re zen AF and other days you just need to light something on fire. Take your rage out on the wick of this candle. Bonus: your family will know to steer clear when the candle is lit. They’ve been warned.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Trick your family into believing you’re a domestic goddess who does impressive things like putting clothes in the washer and even remembering to move them into the dryer. Imagine a world with no piles of dirty clothes, only the scent of clean clothes that miraculously folded themselves and put themselves in the right drawers.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 4 custom Scary Mommy Scents

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

The most relaxing scent for stressed-out moms. Send a message to your kids that there are TWO parents in this goddamn house. When the candle is lit, mom will not be accepting questions or snack requests, that’s what dad is for.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What: 

 Look at me, being all festive. I’m basically Martha Stewart right now. Okay, it may not be a pinterest-worthy mantle but hell, I made an effort didn’t I? This candle is proof that I tried (kinda).

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 4 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. Pumpkin Spice Up Your Lives (Spiced pumpkin with notes of Vanilla, Cinnamon, & Baked Crust)
2. A Forced Family Outing to An Apple Orchard (Brandied Apples with notes of Apple, Clove, and Brandy)
3. Fall My Second Favorite F Word (Spiced Blood Orange with notes of Cassis, Brazilian Orange, and Cedar)
4. Autumn Leaves and Sanity Please (Woodland Escape notes Lemon, Cedarwood, Fir Balsam, and Vanilla)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Finally, all the benefits of baking homemade treats with none of the work. Fill your home with this comforting scent and then dump some store-bought cookies on a paper plate. Boom, you’re really nailing this domesticity thing.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 4 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
2. Pumpkin Spice Up Your Lives (Spiced pumpkin with notes of Vanilla, Cinnamon, & Baked Crust)
3. A Forced Family Outing to An Apple Orchard (Brandied Apples with notes of Apple, Clove, and Brandy)
4. My Second Favorite F Word (Spiced Blood Orange with notes of Cassis, Brazilian Orange, and Cedar)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What: 

For those moments where you can really relate to the lifeless husks of tattered fall leaves. As moms, sometimes we could use a solitary walk in the woods on the road less traveled by where no kids are whining or complaining. Let your family know it’s time to make like a tree and leaf mom alone for a while.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 4 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. Pumpkin Spice Up Your Lives (Spiced pumpkin with notes of Vanilla, Cinnamon, & Baked Crust)
2. A Forced Family Outing to An Apple Orchard (Brandied Apples with notes of Apple, Clove, and Brandy)
3. My Second Favorite F Word (Spiced Blood Orange with notes of Cassis, Brazilian Orange, and Cedar)
4. Autumn Leaves and Sanity Please (Woodland Escape notes Lemon, Cedarwood, Fir Balsam, and Vanilla)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Go ahead, try to tell me to smile and see how that ends for you. The perfect candle for a snarky badass mama who also happens to like pretty scented candles.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 4 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
2. Pumpkin Spice Up Your Lives (Spiced pumpkin with notes of Vanilla, Cinnamon, & Baked Crust)
3. A Forced Family Outing to An Apple Orchard (Brandied Apples with notes of Apple, Clove, and Brandy)
4. My Second Favorite F Word (Spiced Blood Orange with notes of Cassis, Brazilian Orange, and Cedar)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Clean Laundry scent orders will begin to ship 12/11. Please also keep in mind that your ENTIRE order will ship at once — only after the pre-order items are ready to go.

What:

Don’t mind me, I’m just going to ignore the fact that everything is chaos all around me and focus on this calming scented candle. I’m fine, this is all fine, we’ll all be fine.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Pumpkin Spice Up Your Lives (Spiced pumpkin with notes of Vanilla, Cinnamon, & Baked Crust)
5. A Forced Family Outing to An Apple Orchard (Brandied Apples with notes of Apple, Clove, and Brandy)
6. My Second Favorite F Word (Spiced Blood Orange with notes of Cassis, Brazilian Orange, and Cedar)
7. Autumn Leaves and Sanity Please (Woodland Escape notes Lemon, Cedarwood, Fir Balsam, and Vanilla)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Them: No one's more dad than me.

Me: Hold my beer.

This coaster set is made up of the hilarious dad-isms you've heard (or said) a million times, whether you are a dad, have a dad, or just know a dad. We don't really recommend putting your drink down too often, but if you have to, you might as well place it on something that's (almost) as punny and funny as you are. Another plus? No more rings on the precious stuff, Gollum. Especially since you didn't buy the warranty on any of it...because that's how they get ya.

The details:

• Pack of 6 coasters 
• Card dimensions: 4.25" x 5.5"

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

Holiday candle orders will begin to ship 11/24. Please also keep in mind that your ENTIRE order will ship at once — only after the pre-order items are ready to go.

What: 

The holidays are stressful, cold, expensive, and bursting withh festive famlly fighting. Sometimes you just need to say "f*ck it all."

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. Spiced Holiday Stress (Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)
2. Festive AF (Celebratory Notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
3. Festive, My Second Favorite F Word (Spiced Blood Orange with notes of Cassis, Brazilian Orange, and Cedar)
4. Evergreen Trees and Sanity Please (Evergreen Forest with notes of Balsam Fir, Eucalyptus, & Mistletoe Leaves)
5. Shit, It's Cold (Winter Breeze with notes of Peppermint, Mountain Cypress, & Mint Leaves)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Holiday candle orders will begin to ship 11/24. Please also keep in mind that your ENTIRE order will ship at once — only after the pre-order items are ready to go.

What: 

It's the most wonderful time of the year? Tell that to my kids who won't stop complaining. The real Christmas miracle will be me surviving the next few weeks.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. Spiced Holiday Stress (Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)
2. Festive AF (Celebratory Notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
3. Festive, My Second Favorite F Word (Spiced Blood Orange with notes of Cassis, Brazilian Orange, and Cedar)
4. Evergreen Trees and Sanity Please (Evergreen Forest with notes of Balsam Fir, Eucalyptus, & Mistletoe Leaves)
5. Shit, It's Cold (Winter Breeze with notes of Peppermint, Mountain Cypress, & Mint Leaves)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Holiday candle orders will begin to ship 11/24. Please also keep in mind that your ENTIRE order will ship at once — only after the pre-order items are ready to go.

What: 

If I hear "Jingle Bells" one more time I'm going to lose it. Making the holidays magical for everyone is exhausting, and I'm beyond done.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. Spiced Holiday Stress (Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)
2. Festive AF (Celebratory Notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
3. Festive, My Second Favorite F Word (Spiced Blood Orange with notes of Cassis, Brazilian Orange, and Cedar)
4. Evergreen Trees and Sanity Please (Evergreen Forest with notes of Balsam Fir, Eucalyptus, & Mistletoe Leaves)
5. Shit, It's Cold (Winter Breeze with notes of Peppermint, Mountain Cypress, & Mint Leaves)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real