What:

There's a fine line when it comes to raising a daughter. We want our little girls to be kind, but we also want them to know that they can throat-punch someone if they need to.

Wear:

• 52% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft, cozy, with drawstring hood
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit, with ribbed cuffs and kangaroo pocket
• Blair is 5'11", wearing a size L, and is named after her dad's college dorm. (Which must have been an especially fun place.)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Some days I show my strength by lugging the kids AND the groceries up the steps. Some days I show it by kicking ass at the gym, before kicking ass at work. And some days (aka most days), I show it by just getting out of bed and dealing with all the things, all the time.

Wear:

• Super soft 50% poly, 37.5% cotton, 12.5% rayon
• Feminine, cozy, versatile, and plush in a classic pullover fit with a wide neck 
• Relaxed fit, can be worn off the shoulder
• Sideseamed with long sleeves, 1x1 rib neckline, and wide ribbed cuffs and waistband
• Cassie is 5’4”, wearing a size M, and is 17 weeks pregnant with her first child! (Woo hoo!)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

There's a fine line when it comes to raising a daughter. We want our little girls to be kind, but we also want them to know that they can throat-punch someone if they need to.

Wear:

• 52% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Jillian is 5’5”, wearing a size M, and professes her undying love for tacos and scotch — separate or together.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

I swear I was. People liked hanging out with me, and some even wanted to date me. I stayed up late, I laughed, I partied. At least I think I did. Wait...was it all a dream? No. I'm sure of it. I was hip, er, I mean, cool...um, lit, savage, on fleek? Ugh. Whatever.

Wear:

• Super-soft 100% combed cotton with crew neck
• Stylish, modern fit
• Neck ribbing, side seamed, shoulder to shoulder tape, double needle hems, preshrunk to minimize shrinkage
• Blair is 5'11'', wearing a size M, and is semi-obsessed with Pez dispensers. (She has 397 of ‘em!)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

There's a fine line when it comes to raising a daughter. We want our little girls to be kind, but we also want them to know that they can throat-punch someone if they need to.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Julianne is 5’9”, wearing a size M, and is a comedian at the Upright Citizens Brigade, who loves The Princess Bride.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

The Perfect Tee: Custom cut, colored, and butter-washed exclusively for Scary Mommy, for a perfect fit and an unrivaled ultra-soft feel.

What:

Being the hashtag BestMomEver is hashtag LifeGoals! Aaaaand then reality hits, and the bar lowers a little erryday. It's fine. Just remember, there's always someone out there screwing it up even worse than you are.

Wear:

• 100% combed ringspun superfine lightweight cotton, with curved hem
• Relaxed fit for comfort, with tacked, rolled-up sleeves for a feminine flair
• Melanie is 5’4”, wearing a size S, and has never met a dog she didn’t love.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Some days I show my strength by lugging the kids AND the groceries up the steps. Some days I show it by kicking ass at the gym, before kicking ass at work. And some days (aka most days), I show it by just getting out of bed and dealing with all the things, all the time.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed, ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Christine is 5’6”, wearing a size M, and has a twin sister. (In fact, she has SIX sets of twins in her family!)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Some days I show my strength by lugging the kids AND the groceries up the steps. Some days I show it by kicking ass at the gym, before kicking ass at work. And some days (aka most days), I show it by just getting out of bed and dealing with all the things, all the time.

Wear:

• 52% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft, cozy, with drawstring hood
• Modern, loose fit, with ribbed cuffs and kangaroo pocket
• Tiffiny is 5’1”, wearing a size S, and has a son named Eleven (who was born months before Stranger Things even came out.)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Faster than a speeding toddler. Able to leap tall Lego buildings in a single bound. More powerful than a just-bathed blowout. Look, collapsed on the couch and still changing a diaper with one hand! It's — supermom!

Wear:

• 52% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 48% poly
• Super soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Tiffiny is 5’1”, wearing a size S, and has a son named Eleven (who was born months before Stranger Things even came out.)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

I swear I was. People liked hanging out with me, and some even wanted to date me. I stayed up late, I laughed, I partied. At least I think I did. Wait...was it all a dream? No. I'm sure of it. I was hip, er, I mean, cool...um, lit, savage? Ugh. Whatever.

Wear:

• Tri-blend: 50% poly, 25% airlume combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon
• Super soft, lightweight
• High/low hem and side slits
• Nicole is 5’4”, wearing a size M, and is a Brooklynite (by way of Alaska!) who writes, directs, and acts in sketch comedy shows.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

I swear I was. People liked hanging out with me, and some even wanted to date me. I stayed up late, I laughed, I partied. At least I think I did. Wait...was it all a dream? No. I'm sure of it. I was hip, er, I mean, cool...um, lit, savage? Ugh. Whatever.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed, ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Jillian is 5’5”, wearing a size M, and professes her undying love for tacos and scotch — separate or together.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

The Perfect Tee: Custom cut, colored, and butter-washed exclusively for Scary Mommy, for a perfect fit and an unrivaled ultra-soft feel.

What:

Some days I show my strength by lugging the kids AND the groceries up the steps. Some days I show it by kicking ass at the gym, before kicking ass at work. And some days (aka most days), I show it by just getting out of bed and dealing with all the things, all the time.

Wear:

• 100% combed ringspun superfine lightweight cotton, with curved hem
• Relaxed fit for comfort, with tacked, rolled-up sleeves for a feminine flair
• Yuko is 5’5”, wearing a size S, and can ride a unicycle (!), which we think is wheely cool.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

The Perfect Tee: Custom cut, colored, and butter-washed exclusively for Scary Mommy, for a perfect fit and an unrivaled ultra-soft feel.

What:

I couldn't find my keys, their shoes, or any fucks left to give. If you can't relate, we probably can't be friends. #sorrynotsorry.

Wear:

• 100% combed ringspun superfine lightweight cotton, with curved hem
• Relaxed fit for comfort, with tacked, rolled-up sleeves for a feminine flair
• Emelie is 5’7”, wearing a size M, and could only eat Italian food while binging The Sopranos. (For 2 months!)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

I'm not sleeping. I'm just resting my eyes. Hopefully for 8-12 hours.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Tiffiny is 5’1”, wearing a size S, and has a son named Eleven (who was born months before Stranger Things even came out.)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

The Perfect Tee: Custom cut, colored, and butter-washed exclusively for Scary Mommy, for a perfect fit and an unrivaled ultra-soft feel.

What:

I'm just over here making sure the next generation is ready to fix everything we screw up, and make the world a better place. No pressure or anything.  

Wear:

• 100% combed ringspun superfine lightweight cotton
• Relaxed fit with an open neckline and narrow neck banding for a contemporary look

• Cassie is 5’4”, wearing a size M, and is 17 weeks pregnant with her first child! (Woo hoo!)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

There's a fine line when it comes to raising a daughter. We want our little girls to be kind, but we also want them to know that they can throat-punch someone if they need to.

Wear:

• 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Ultra-soft tri-blend crewneck, with just the right amount of stretch
• Fitted (size up one for a more relaxed fit)
• Iliana is 5’3”, wearing a size M, never goes anywhere without her journal, and thinks a tortoise would destroy a snail in a footrace. (Especially since the snail has no feet.)

S : 25" (length from shoulder) 14" (chest) 
M: 25.75" (length from shoulder) 15" (chest) 
L: 26.5" (length from shoulder) 16" (chest) 
XL: 26.5" (length from shoulder) 17.5" (chest)
2XL: 28.5" (length from shoulder) 19.5" (chest)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Think of the toughest, meanest, baddest person you know. Now think of the one person they're afraid of. Yup...it's their mom. We're all badasses. Don't mess with us.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed, ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Jillian is 5’5”, wearing a size S, and professes her undying love for tacos and scotch — separate or together.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

I swear I was. People liked hanging out with me, and some even wanted to date me. I stayed up late, I laughed, I partied. At least I think I did. Wait...was it all a dream? No. I'm sure of it. I was hip, er, I mean, cool...um, lit, savage, on fleek? Ugh. Whatever.

Wear:

• Super-soft 100% combed cotton with crew neck
• Stylish, modern fit
• Sleeveless tank, raw armhole edges, neck ribbing, double needle hems, side seamed, preshrunk to minimize shrinkage
• Emma is 5’7”, wearing a size S, and won the first — and only — poker tournament she ever entered.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

I smelled like teen spirit. I ended up walking in the cold November rain till I was under the bridge. I wondered who was my wall. Ahhh...kids today will never know the pure joy of the perfect mix tape, but I'll keep reminding them that after 90s rock, nothing else matters.

Wear:

• Irresistibly soft 52% cotton, 48% poly blend with crew neck
• Acid wash creates a vintage tour-shirt look
• Fits like a well-loved favorite
• This shirt runs large, order 1 size down
• Emma is 5’7”, wearing a size XS, and won the first — and only — poker tournament she ever entered.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Some days I show my strength by lugging the kids AND the groceries up the steps. Some days I show it by kicking ass at the gym, before kicking ass at work. And some days (aka most days), I show it by just getting out of bed and dealing with all the things, all the time.

Wear:

• Super-soft 100% combed cotton with crew neck

• Stylish, modern fit

• Sleeveless tank, raw armhole edges, neck ribbing, double needle hems, side seamed, preshrunk to minimize shrinkage

• Blair is 5'11'', wearing a size M, and is semi-obsessed with Pez dispensers. (She has 397 of ‘em!)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

In case you couldn't tell by my tone of voice or the fire in my eyes. PS - this ain't just for the kids. It goes for my boss, my SO, the patriarchy, the universe, and anyone else who stands in between me and what I know I deserve. (But definitely the kids, too!)

Wear:

• Super-soft 100% combed cotton with crew neck
• Stylish, modern fit
• Neck ribbing, side seamed, shoulder to shoulder tape, double needle hems, preshrunk to minimize shrinkage
• Cassie is 5’4”, wearing a size M, and is 17 weeks pregnant with her first child! (Woo hoo!)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

I swear I was. People liked hanging out with me, and some even wanted to date me. I stayed up late, I laughed, I partied. At least I think I did. Wait...was it all a dream? No. I'm sure of it. I was hip, er, I mean, cool...um, lit, savage? Ugh. Whatever.

Wear:

• 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Ultra-soft tri-blend crewneck, with just the right amount of stretch
• Fitted (size up one for a more relaxed fit)
• Bailey is 5’7”, wearing a size M, knows the capital of every state, and is just waiting for it to come up so she can impress everyone in the room.

S : 25.5" (length from shoulder) 16" (chest)
M: 26" (length from shoulder) 17" (chest)
L: 26.5" (length from shoulder) 18" (chest)
XL: 27" (length from shoulder) 19.5" (chest)
2X: 27.5" (length from shoulder) 21" (chest)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Money moves sound great, but tbh my moves these days are more like bending over to pick stuff up, tryna fold a stroller, and jumping out of bed in the middle of the night. Okurrrrrr?

Wear:

• 50% poly, 25% cotton, 25% rayon
• Ultra-soft tri-blend crewneck, with just the right amount of stretch
• Fitted (size up one for a more relaxed fit)
• Bailey is 5’7”, wearing a size M, knows the capital of every state, and is just waiting for it to come up so she can impress everyone in the room. 

S : 25" (length from shoulder) 14" (chest)
M: 25.75" (length from shoulder) 15" (chest)
L: 26.5" (length from shoulder) 16" (chest)
XL: 26.5" (length from shoulder) 17.5" (chest)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

I'm not really a mama bear. I'm more of a mama llama. Like, I'm pretty chill, but I'll kick you in the face if you screw with my kids.

Wear:

• 50% poly, 46% cotton, 4% rayon
• Contains organic & recycled materials
• Soft & cozy relaxed fit crewneck
• Blair is 5’11”, wearing a size M, and is named after her dad’s college dorm. (Which must have been an especially fun place.)

S : 30.88" (length from shoulder) 20" (chest)
M: 31.5" (length from shoulder) 21.5" (chest)
L: 32.13" (length from shoulder) 23" (chest)
XL: 32.75" (length from shoulder) 24.5" (chest) 

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

I swear I was. People liked hanging out with me, and some even wanted to date me. I stayed up late, I laughed, I partied. At least I think I did. Wait...was it all a dream? No. I'm sure of it. I was hip, er, I mean, cool...um, lit, savage? Ugh. Whatever.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft tank top
• Relaxed fit
• Meredith is 5’5”, wearing a size M, and went into labor during the Jonas Blizzard of ‘16...while her husband was fishing in Florida!

Why:

• FREE SHIPPING at $40
• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

There's a fine line when it comes to raising a daughter. We want our little girls to be kind, but we also want them to know that they can throat-punch someone if they need to.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Julianne is 5’9”, wearing a size M, and is a comedian at the Upright Citizens Brigade, who loves The Princess Bride.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

All day. Every day.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Julianne is 5’9”, wearing a size M, and is a comedian at the Upright Citizens Brigade, who loves The Princess Bride.

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Some days I show my strength by lugging the kids AND the groceries up the steps. Some days I show it by kicking ass at the gym, before kicking ass at work. And some days (aka most days), I show it by just getting out of bed and dealing with all the things, all the time.

Wear:

• 100% airlume combed, ring-spun cotton
• Soft crewneck
• Modern, loose fit
• Meredith is 5’5”, wearing a size M, and went into labor during the Jonas Blizzard of ‘16...while her husband was fishing in Florida!

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

The Perfect Tee: Custom cut, colored, and butter-washed exclusively for Scary Mommy, for a perfect fit and an unrivaled ultra-soft feel.

What:

I couldn't find my keys, their shoes, or any fucks left to give. If you can't relate, we probably can't be friends. #sorrynotsorry

Wear:

• 100% combed ringspun superfine lightweight cotton, with curved hem
• Relaxed fit for comfort, with tacked, rolled-up sleeves for a feminine flair
• XXXX is XX’XX”, wearing a size XX, and XXXXXXXXXX

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real