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Dads love a good joke, a bad pun, and spreading a little bit of wisdom. So give him the perfect gift this Father’s Day and make his day, every day. The average dad regularly uses 3 out of 4 of these dad-isms. How dad are you? 

This tear away calendar is the best, unique (and dare we say cheap!) gift for dads and husbands this Father’s Day.

The details:

• 5.25" X 4.25"
• 313 hilarious tear-away days (from 01/01/21 to 12/31/21)
• Comes with attached plastic stand

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

What:

I thought I had a few left to give. I could have sworn I saw them the other day, when my kids were climbing on me during a Zoom call. Or maybe they were somewhere in that pile of toys in the corner. (Or is that laundry? Who can tell anymore?) But nope, it turns out there was only one, single, solitary f*ck that I had left to give. And now it's on fire, so I'm all out. Gotta say, though — it smells lovely.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry  (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Leaving The Christmas Decorations Up Until Spring (Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
6. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
7. Cinnamon and Settle-Down Now(Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

What:

Think of this warm, flickering flame as a soothing, beautifully-scented way of me saying "LEAVE ME ALONE!" I need a break. If the light is on, I'm off. Get it?

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Leaving The Christmas Decorations Up Until Spring (Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
6. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
7. Cinnamon and Settle-Down Now(Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

Shipping: Ship times quoted in checkout are estimates of time in transit after your product leaves the fulfillment center. Some items in your order may ship separately to arrive faster.

What:

A rage-coloring book JUST for burnt-out moms who need to vent. Go to your happy place, steal some of your kid's markers and color a world free of kids and full of swears.

Wear:

• 36 coloring pages
• Coloring pages have black backing to avoid any bleeding
• 8.5" x 11"
• Perforated sheets so you can tear out and hang up your masterpieces

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

This item will begin to ship 2/3. Please also keep in mind that your ENTIRE order will ship at once — only after the pre-order items are ready to go.

What:

Leave a professional note for your marital co-worker with this official paperwork. Generic form-letters to cover all the little daily communications between spouses, because what could be more romantic than someone filling in the blanks for you?

Wear:

• Five 40 sheet notepads
  
• 4.5" x 5.75"
• Magnetic Backing

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

This item will begin to ship 2/3. Please also keep in mind that your ENTIRE order will ship at once — only after the pre-order items are ready to go.

What:

What could be more romantic than filling in the blanks on a form letter? Wow your partner with your thoughtfulness and efficiency, and hold on to this document for your records as evidence that you made an effort.

Wear:

• 40 Official Evidence sheets
  
• 4.5" x 5.75"
• Magnetic Backing

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

What:

Bad moods happen, but don't say I didn't try to warn you. Use this official form to let the family know when to steer clear, for their own safety.

Wear:

• 40 Notice of Appreciation sheets
  
• 4.25" x 5.5"
• Magnetic Backing

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

This item will begin to ship 2/3. Please also keep in mind that your ENTIRE order will ship at once — only after the pre-order items are ready to go.

What:

Do you ever mention something to your spouse only to hear them say, "What? You never told me that!" Now you can pull out the evidence. No more arguments because it's all on the record.

Wear:

• 40 Official Evidence sheets
  
• 4.5" x 5.75"
• Magnetic Backing

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

What:

Love notes are overrated, now you can officially recognize your partner as Spouse Of The Month with a generic form-letter! The competition was not fierce but still, they should be thrilled to receive this great honor.

Wear:

• 40 Notice of Appreciation sheets
  
• 4.5" x 5.75"
• Magnetic Backing

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

What:

I don't always apologize, but when I do it's important to document it for posterity. Here's proof that I'm at least theoretically partially sorry for whatever I did (or didn't do.)

Wear:

• 40 Formal Apology sheets
  
• 4.5" x 5.75"
• Magnetic Backing

Why:

• FREE RETURNS

What:

After all these years and all the sh*t you've been through, you still like each other? It defies all logic! But it's pretty damn cool.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 8 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
5. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
6. Leaving The Christmas Decorations Up Until Spring (Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
7. Cinnamon and Settle-Down Now(Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)
8. Shit, It's Cold (Winter Breeze with notes of Peppermint, Mountain Cypress, & Mint Leaves)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

You don't need some bullsh*t holiday to know that you love each other, but a little reminder never hurts. Especially when it smells this good.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
5. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Sure the house is a mess and everything is chaos but look, a pretty candle. Romantic right? Maybe this is the best you can do right now and honestly, it's the romantic thought that counts.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 8 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
5. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
6. Leaving The Christmas Decorations Up Until Spring (Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
7. Cinnamon and Settle-Down Now(Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)
8. Shit, It's Cold (Winter Breeze with notes of Peppermint, Mountain Cypress, & Mint Leaves)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

It's that "special" time of day when you can finally have a moment free of the kids to reconnect as a couple...or just fall asleep on the couch watching Netflix.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 8 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
5. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
6. Shit, It's Cold (Winter Breeze with notes of Peppermint, Mountain Cypress, & Mint Leaves)
7. Leaving The Christmas Decorations Up Until Spring (Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
8. Cinnamon and Settle-Down Now(Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

At any given moment, a mom’s brain is overflowing with fifty trillion items of varying importance. To-do lists, mental notes, small moments of gratitude we want to hold on to, what we should have said in that conversation 3 weeks ago, upcoming appointments, and colorful swear words all swirling in a perpetual tornado of overwhelming brain noise. This unique, funny pink notebook is the refuge she needs to unload the $%#@storm without filters or judgment. Brimming with hilarious encouragement for kick-ass moms whose goal is not perfection, but making it to the end of the damn day.

Mom's Planning and Profanity Notebook is the perfect companion for Moms with its clearly laid out sections for lists, gratitude, venting, and notes sprinkled with humor and uplifting messages that resonate. It’s cheaper than therapy and funnier too.

Looking for a perfect Mother’s Day gift under $20? Look no more, this unique and useful (!) gift for mom will make this Mother's Day feel extra special.

Wear:

• 128 pages
• 7" x 9"
• 4 sections: Lists, Gratitude, Venting, & Notes

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What: 

Official holiday announcement: I'm all out of f*cks to give. I've thrown all my holiday stress into the fire and now I'm just basking in the glow of not caring.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. Spiced Holiday Stress (Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)
2. Festive AF (Orange Zest with notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
3. Festive, My Second Favorite F Word (Orange Zest with notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
4. Evergreen Trees and Sanity Please (Evergreen Forest with notes of Balsam Fir, Eucalyptus, & Mistletoe Leaves)
5. Shit, It's Cold (Winter Breeze with notes of Peppermint, Mountain Cypress, & Mint Leaves)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What: 

The holidays are stressful, cold, expensive, and bursting withh festive famlly fighting. Sometimes you just need to say "f*ck it all."

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. Spiced Holiday Stress (Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)
2. Festive AF (Celebratory Notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
3. Festive, My Second Favorite F Word ( Orange Zest with notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli))
4. Evergreen Trees and Sanity Please (Evergreen Forest with notes of Balsam Fir, Eucalyptus, & Mistletoe Leaves)
5. Shit, It's Cold (Winter Breeze with notes of Peppermint, Mountain Cypress, & Mint Leaves)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Oh, look, it’s on fire- Commemorate the worst year ever by lighting it on fire! Watch it slowly burn down as we limp toward the finish line. 2020 may be a dumpster fire but your house doesn’t have to smell like one.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Pumpkin Spice Up Your Lives (Spiced pumpkin with notes of Vanilla, Cinnamon, & Baked Crust)
5. A Forced Family Outing to An Apple Orchard (Brandied Apples with notes of Apple, Clove, and Brandy)
6. Fall, My Second Favorite F Word (Orange Zest with notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
7. Autumn Leaves and Sanity Please (Woodland Escape notes Lemon, Cedarwood, Fir Balsam, and Vanilla)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What: 

I'd love to have a silent night but that hasn't happened since I had kids. We're not really an "all is calm" kind of family. Lighting this candle sends a secret message that it's time to zip it for a while.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. Spiced Holiday Stress (Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)
2. Festive AF (Orange Zest with notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
3. Festive, My Second Favorite F Word (Orange Zest with notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
4. Evergreen Trees and Sanity Please (Evergreen Forest with notes of Balsam Fir, Eucalyptus, & Mistletoe Leaves)
5. Shit, It's Cold (Winter Breeze with notes of Peppermint, Mountain Cypress, & Mint Leaves)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Moms love having a stash of cards to whip out at a moment’s notice, because running back to the store (she already went twice this week) means derailing a whole afternoon. This pack has all the cards she needs for the people who want to hear from the real her: hilarious thank you cards for everyone, mom-friends, and teachers No more cheesy cards from the grocery store, just real sentiments, real funny. Just under $25, this set of 12 funny thank you cards will make a perfect touch to any Mother’s (or any!) Day Gift.

Wear:

• Pack of 12 greeting cards with envelopes
• 4.25" x 5.5"
• Greeting Card occasions: 4 Thank You, 2, Teacher appreciation, 5 friendship , & 1 encouragement

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Don’t mind me, I’m just going to ignore the fact that everything is chaos all around me and focus on this calming scented candle. I’m fine, this is all fine, we’ll all be fine.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry   (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Mimosa & Chill (Mandarin, Lemon Flower, Magnolia)
5. Leaving The Christmas Decorations Up Until Spring (Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
6. Flowers, My Second Favorite F Word (Peony, Bergamot, Jasmine Noir)
7. Cinnamon and Settle-Down Now(Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What: 

It's the most wonderful time of the year? Tell that to my kids who won't stop complaining. The real Christmas miracle will be me surviving the next few weeks.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. Spiced Holiday Stress (Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)
2. Festive AF (Celebratory Notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
3. Festive, My Second Favorite F Word (Orange Zest with notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
4. Evergreen Trees and Sanity Please (Evergreen Forest with notes of Balsam Fir, Eucalyptus, & Mistletoe Leaves)
5. Shit, It's Cold (Winter Breeze with notes of Peppermint, Mountain Cypress, & Mint Leaves)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What:

Some days you’re zen AF and other days you just need to light something on fire. Take your rage out on the wick of this candle. Bonus: your family will know to steer clear when the candle is lit. They’ve been warned.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 7 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. The Next-Best-Thing to Clean Laundry    (Warm Cotton)
2. Go-Ask-Your-Dad Vanilla (Vanilla Teakwood)
3. Zen AF (Calming Lavender)
4. Pumpkin Spice Up Your Lives (Spiced pumpkin with notes of Vanilla, Cinnamon, & Baked Crust)
5. A Forced Family Outing to An Apple Orchard (Brandied Apples with notes of Apple, Clove, and Brandy)
6. Fall, My Second Favorite F Word (Orange Zest with notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
7. Autumn Leaves and Sanity Please (Woodland Escape notes Lemon, Cedarwood, Fir Balsam, and Vanilla)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

What: 

This candle is out here looking cute and speaking truth. Make a statement and make it smell good in your house, too. Win/Win.

Wear:

• 13.75 oz
• All Natural Soy Wax Blend
• 60-80 hour burn time
• Hand Poured in the USA
• Available in 5 custom Scary Mommy Scents

1. Spiced Holiday Stress (Cinnamon with notes of Citron, Brown Sugar, & Nutmeg)
2. Festive AF (Orange Zest with notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
3. Festive, My Second Favorite F Word (Orange Zest with notes of Clove, Cedar, Amber, & Patchouli)
4. Evergreen Trees and Sanity Please (Evergreen Forest with notes of Balsam Fir, Eucalyptus, & Mistletoe Leaves)
5. Shit, It's Cold (Winter Breeze with notes of Peppermint, Mountain Cypress, & Mint Leaves)

Why:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE compliments and nods of approval from other moms who know the struggle is real

 The Dad Book is unlike any parenting book you’ve ever read. It may not contain any useful parenting advice, but it’s the perfect book for a dad who likes to laugh. Packed with popular jokes from The Dad and new never-before-seen content, but (almost) small enough to fit in your cargo shorts. Includes funny insights into life with kids, ill-advised parenting hacks, and classic dad phrases we call dad-isms. A must-have for everyone living life in The Dad Club, and as satisfying as the first mow of spring.

The details:

• ~200 pages
• Softcover

• Full color

• 6.5"x 6.5"

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal

The details:

• "4.87 x 7.12" 
  
• ~202 pages
• Faux leather cover
• Black/White text
• Written by Ally Probst, and Joel Willis.

The delight:

• FREE RETURNS
• FREE high fives from other dudes who know the deal